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She stood so I could run!
My mother was never really a favourite of our extended family and society.
In a society where the highest ambition for girls was to marry someone successful, she dared her daughters to become successful themselves. The path was already drawn for us - finish 12th, do a BA or BSc, marry into a comfortable business family and look after the kitchen and kids. Or get into the family business, if you are the ambitious one. That was the plan for my elder sister Sakshi as well. Except, my mother had other plans!
She went against all, took a stand and sent Sakshi to Delhi, away from home's comfort, to live in a hostel and become an engineer. While Sakshi fought her own battles there, I watched my mother fight hers here, every single day. The taunts, the comments, the unsolicited advice. But at least she still had one daughter beside her.
Two years later, it was my turn. Everyone assumed she'd have learnt her lesson by now and realised her mistake. Even I just wanted to stay home, be with her, maybe join the family business. But she was adamant again. Sending her second daughter away meant losing her only support and being completely alone to face it all. "Well-wishers" and their advice continued - "Itna padhakar IAS banaogi?" "Kaun shaadi karega ab?" She heard it daily but bore it silently.
When I decided to go for Civil Services preparation, I faced initial failures. I did well in my first attempt but then missed the prelims cutoff by 0.5 marks, two years in a row. Things got even more difficult for my mom before it became a little better.
Sakshi got into Dell as a software engineer, becoming the first engineer in our extended family, the first woman to move to Delhi for higher education, and the first to step into the corporate world. She supported me through it all, not just emotionally but financially too.
When the result finally came, the world saw my success. But I knew the truth. I was just the face of a struggle my mother had started and my sister had carried forward.
My mother stood up so Sakshi could walk. And Sakshi walked so I could run.
To all the "well-wishers", beti IAS ban gayi! (And not an achievement as such, but shaadi bhi ho gayi :P)
Happy Women's Day Mom and Sakshi!
